Blog mania

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Hello blog world.  I hope everyone is having a good weekend!  The weather cooled off some in Montana but things are creeping back up into the 90’s again.  I filled the bird feeders this morning along with the bird bath and it wasn’t long before I witnessed some sparrows taking a dip.

I wanted to share with you a new format I want to try on my blog.  I have wanted to write regularly but sometimes it can be hard to come up with a topic.  It seems like the ideas pop into my head when I have nothing to jot them down on – like when I go to the store and forget what I came for.  I thought it would be fun to focus on a particular topic on certain days such as Throwback Thursdays or Photography Fridays – just something to dust the cobwebs off of the dark, unused corners of my mind and start being creative again.  Later this week I want to share with you how my blog is hopefully going to fit in with a larger goal I have in mind – something people have been encouraging me to do but I have been terrified of.  It involves writing a book.  That’s all I will say for now.

We are going through quite a bit of change in our household with my husband changing jobs and it’s far too easy to fall into the trap of fear and negativity.  I admit that my thinking and my words have not been too positive lately.  I miss Christian terribly and going through a major life change almost makes my heart ache more.  One thing that helps me through difficult times is to remember all of the good things God has done for us over the years.  He has provided us with all of the medical supplies for the boys, the right doctors and resources to ensure that my sons would have the best quality of life we could offer them.  The verse I want to share is from John 10:10 (NLT), one of my favorites.  Jesus said “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”  God’s goodness and abundance is limitless and so is His love for us.  He knows we are not perfect but yet He provides.  Jesus said himself that He wants us to live a full, satisfying life and He will provide all that we need and more.

I hope you will enjoy my new platform.  Some days are busier with doctor appointments and caregiving for my son but I will do my best to say a few words or make sure to the next day.  Thank you for reading my blog and have a wonderful week!

Battleborn

Ever since the tragedy in Connecticut, I have felt lost, betrayed, sad, anxious and in other ways that I have trouble finding words to describe.  I am sure many of us feel this way.  I have been unsure of what to post until a few minutes ago when Battleborn by The Killers came on while I was finishing up the dishes.  I stopped mid track to really listen to the lyrics:

You lost faith in the human spirit

You walk around like a ghost

Your star-spangled heart

Took a train for the coast

This is exactly how I have felt at times.  Anyone else?  How about:

When you shine you’re a hilltop mansion

So how’d you lose the light?

Was it blown by the wind,

In the still of the night?

I have felt like my light has been blown out and I caught myself cursing the darkness last evening when I went on a rant about guns.  All it did was make me more upset.  Cursing the darkness is futile, wasteful thinking and speaking.  The song goes on to say “We’re up against the wall” and this is good:

When they knock you down

You’re gonna get back on your feet

In the community where this tragedy took place, in the state of Connecticut, and in our country, we will be there for each other and we will get back on our feet!  And finally:

When they break your heart

When they cause your soul to mourn

Remember what I said

Boy you was battle born

This tragedy broke our hearts and we grieve for the little ones, teachers and principle and their families and the entire community.  We need to remember that we are battle born.  We will never stop loving one another, caring and reaching out.  We are strong and will never back down against the evil and injustice in this world!

Check out this song on Grooveshark or Spotify and listen along and see if it doesn’t make you want to get up and shine your light instead of cursing the darkness!

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A lesson in poetry

The road less traveled

The road less traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

…Robert Frost

I was never very good at interpreting poetry in school but “The road less traveled” is one that I have been able to relate to a good portion of my life.  One that many of us have.  We face choices every single day and most of the time, not having the slightest idea what the outcome will be.  We try to see into the future as far as we can, thinking of every single way a situation can turn out.  We rely on our gut instinct, or pray about it, hoping it will all turn out okay.

I am often in this situation each day in dealing with the boys’ MD.  Whether the decision is big, such as whether a surgery will be worth the risk; or small, such as what to give the boys for dinner, we stand at the edge of the wood like Robert Frost did.  We have made good decisions, such as keeping the boys on a wholesome, mostly vegetarian diet to reduce inflammation; and we have made bad decisions, such as staying in a hotel room with unaccessible features that ended up causing prolonged back pain for Christian.  With every choice we all do our best and that is all that matters.  I firmly believe, and have experienced, that God helps us out of difficult situations that were the result of a bad choice because He knows that our choices are made out of love.  I also firmly believe that every choice we have made, good and bad, has brought the boys to where they are today – happy, healthy and full of vigor for life!

The path we are on is also the less traveled one.  We have made many choices that we knew would require more work but did it anyway because we wanted to do what was best for the boys.  I read a saying that basically said that when we make the hard decisions today, it will make for a better tomorrow.  This has been true in our case.  We opted for the boys to have spinal fusion to correct their scoliosis and as a result, they sit up better in their chairs and their lungs can fully expand.

Drew before his spinal fusion surgery at Shriners
Drew before his spinal fusion surgery at Shriners
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After spinal fusion

We will continue to face big and small decisions and an unknown future.  This can create a lot of fear and a good amount of uncertainty, but if we do the best we can with what we have today, it will all turn out just fine.  All I have to do is see one of the boys’ beautiful smiles to know this.