Scars Strengthen Us

I read a story about four seeds in a book by Rev J. Martin called God’s Grace Is On The Way:  Let go, embrace love.  To sum it up, four seeds were taken up by the wind and dropped into a clearing in the jungle.  Their dream was to grow to be beautiful trees, towering over the jungle.  Three monkeys also lived in the clearing that liked to amuse themselves by throwing bananas at any plant that tried to grow.  This made it very difficult for the seeds to take root.  The seeds agreed that it would be better to wait for the group of monkeys to move on before they attempted to grow.

Weeks passed and one seed thought she should at least attempt it.  When she tried to grow, the monkeys pelted her with bananas.  She tried and tried, even after the other seeds asked her to stop trying.  She didn’t give up but kept trying harder and harder as the monkeys continued to attack the plant.

Then, one day, the monkeys hit her with bananas but none made her stoop over.  The little tree had taken so many blows that she was now full of hard knots and scars.  Her slim trunk had gotten thicker and more resistant and could now withstand the impact of a banana.  The monkeys were unable to uproot her.  She grew until she became the most majestic tree in the jungle.

When we are dealt a bad hand in life or end up facing all sorts of difficulties, it is easy to give up on our dreams and goals.  It could be bad news from the doctor, the loss of a loved one or financial difficulty that puts us in the middle of one of life’s storms.  The storms can be so bad that it is difficult to see the other side of the lake and we wonder how we will ever make it across to the other side.

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After recently being diagnosed with a chronic illness, I wasn’t sure if I could pursue my dreams any longer.  I thought about the loss of my son, Christian, his brother, Andrew,  who continues to fight his muscular dystrophy and my husband who lives with a heart condition.  After being pelted with several bunches of bananas I set my dreams aside.

When we make it to the other side of life’s storms we become more resilient and strong.  God can use us in amazing ways when we let Him give us the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other when life gets hard.  We can then be an inspiration to others who are dealing with their own difficulties.

We are all given gifts from God to make the world a better place.  Some of us sing, play instruments, serve, sew, write or draw.  Some of us are given the gift of inspiration.  It is amazing what a kind word or a little encouragement can do for the spirit of another.  No matter what difficulties come our way, we must never give up on the gifts that God graces us with.  He knows how important our gifts are so He will give us the strength we need to make it through life’s storms.

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Long Time No Post

I must admit I was a bit shocked when I saw how long it had been since my last blog post.  I have read in more that one place that we have to make time to do the things that matter or we will never do them.  We also must not wait until everything is perfect before we pursue our dreams.  Our lives are ever-changing but our dreams remain in our hearts.  I have a dream of writing a book about my sons and their daily battle with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.  A book that I hope will inspire people to donate to the MDA and reach out to families afflicted with devastating, neuromuscular diseases.

So much has changed since my last post.  After over 10 years of being a full-time caregiver for my sons, I am back at work.  Not just any place of employment but the very company that I left to care for my sons.  I feel tremendously blessed to be rehired.  Even with blessings, it’s easy to still experience moments of fear and doubt.  Questions circled in my mind such as wondering if I would remember everything.  There is also the social aspect of working outside of the home that I have been missing for far too long.  It has been fun seeing people who I haven’t seen in years, literally.  It has been difficult not seeing my son as much but this change enables us to be a healthier and happier family.

October 27th marked the one year anniversary since Christian passed away.  I honestly thought it would be beneficial for me to go to work and with this year being the first one, I didn’t know what to expect.  Let’s just say I had to go home.  Being with my family made the day easier to bear for all of us.  This fall has been painful.  As I have been watching the leaves turn and fall off of the trees and the sun shine at a different angle, I have been flashing back to our last few weeks with Christian.  The good Lord has given me the comfort and strength I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  One sign of the healing that has taken place over the last year is the little moments of joy that fill my heart at the most simple of things.  A squirrel greeted me on one of my courthouse runs with a mouthful of leaves.  A house finch called to me from under a car in the parking lot behind the treasurer’s office.  A pigeon greeted me above the door before I went inside.  The simplest of sights are the most beautiful.

A squirrel in Gibson Park years ago.
A squirrel in Gibson Park years ago.

I had to remind myself lately that going back to work full-time does not mean I have to stop pursuing my dreams.  We can always carve out a little time every day to write, play a song on the piano or take a 30 minute walk.  I would love to hear about your dreams and I will keep you posted on mine.  I have a piano that I would love to start playing again but with most things, I will need to take baby steps.  I read a blog post by Tsh Oxenreider (theartofsimple.net) about not setting goals too big or it sets us up to fail.  It’s far easier to exceed a goal that’s simpler and realistic.  Wise words!

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Blog mania

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Hello blog world.  I hope everyone is having a good weekend!  The weather cooled off some in Montana but things are creeping back up into the 90’s again.  I filled the bird feeders this morning along with the bird bath and it wasn’t long before I witnessed some sparrows taking a dip.

I wanted to share with you a new format I want to try on my blog.  I have wanted to write regularly but sometimes it can be hard to come up with a topic.  It seems like the ideas pop into my head when I have nothing to jot them down on – like when I go to the store and forget what I came for.  I thought it would be fun to focus on a particular topic on certain days such as Throwback Thursdays or Photography Fridays – just something to dust the cobwebs off of the dark, unused corners of my mind and start being creative again.  Later this week I want to share with you how my blog is hopefully going to fit in with a larger goal I have in mind – something people have been encouraging me to do but I have been terrified of.  It involves writing a book.  That’s all I will say for now.

We are going through quite a bit of change in our household with my husband changing jobs and it’s far too easy to fall into the trap of fear and negativity.  I admit that my thinking and my words have not been too positive lately.  I miss Christian terribly and going through a major life change almost makes my heart ache more.  One thing that helps me through difficult times is to remember all of the good things God has done for us over the years.  He has provided us with all of the medical supplies for the boys, the right doctors and resources to ensure that my sons would have the best quality of life we could offer them.  The verse I want to share is from John 10:10 (NLT), one of my favorites.  Jesus said “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”  God’s goodness and abundance is limitless and so is His love for us.  He knows we are not perfect but yet He provides.  Jesus said himself that He wants us to live a full, satisfying life and He will provide all that we need and more.

I hope you will enjoy my new platform.  Some days are busier with doctor appointments and caregiving for my son but I will do my best to say a few words or make sure to the next day.  Thank you for reading my blog and have a wonderful week!