January 2013 – The road less traveled

The best thing we can do

We cannot give away what we have not first received. We must be gentle and kind to ourselves before we can be with others. We have to be patient with ourselves and our own progress before we can be patient and understanding with everyone else. We must give our all to God and to ourselves before we can give our all to everything we set out to do. Lets make sure we do at least one thing everyday that we can feel really good about, whether its writing a letter, going to a coffee shop to read and relax, or having our nails or hair done.

The truth is, before we can do anything worthwhile, we must first love ourselves, hug ourselves; make peace a part of our everyday lives. Let’s stop feeling like we are doing something wrong or that there is something wrong with us because no matter what we do or how hard we try, someone will always be unhappy.

Burned toast

I am one of those people who cannot drive or walk while doing something else. Like a dummy, I was walking down my basement stairs and looking at a calendar. Next thing I knew, my feet slipped and I fell down a couple stairs and landed on the bottom. I hurt a little so I took some ibuprofen and went to bed. Everything was fine until a couple days later. Searing pain up and down my left leg, swelling and twitching all over my leg. This was almost a couple weeks ago and I am still in pain. Most of it is from the MD but just as equally to blame is my lack of self care.

This has been a real eye opener for me. Honestly, it scared me into wondering how long I can continue taking care of the boys. I want to last, I really do, and I most certainly will not at this pace. It’s only a matter of time.

What to do. What to do. I am pretty sure the house will not be condemned if it is not spotless and we will always have clothes to wear if I get behind in the wash.

Fear is what keeps me from letting things go and taking care of myself first – making sure I take time each day to work towards my goals and dreams. We must have faith that so long as we do our very best, God will handle the rest. Truth is, I am of no use to God or my loved ones if I am toast.

In order to love others, we must be filled with God’s love. In order to properly care for those we love, we must first take care of ourselves. I must do it for God, myself, my loved ones and the world. How much more beautiful would our world be if we would stop running ourselves ragged, pumped by our anxieties and fears? Very beautiful indeed!

Finding the way back

My husband has been asking me how long it has been since I posted to my blog. I realized that it been a little while. I did something so many of us easily do and that is to get caught up in life. I stopped making myself a priority and it was all downhill from there. It is crazy how easy it was to convince myself that I would be able to take some downtime after this load of wash or tonight after dinner only for it to be shoved under the rug. The truth is, there will always be a load of clothes needing to be washed and there will always be dirt to sweep up, but the opportunity that was brushed aside so I could do just one more thing will not always be there. That reminds me of Columbo, who always turned around to face his suspect or witness to say “just one more thing”.

Iyanla Vanzant, in a devotional book I have, said that we must live by the Universal Order of things: God, me, family and friends, then work. I have found this to be easier said than done but well worth it when I have followed it. What stops me from prioritizing? Fear of losing control? Did I ever have control in the first place?

The boys had a follow up appointment at the cardiologist and we found out that Christian’s heart has worsened some. This was expected but painful to hear. I figure I have two options. One is to roll over and live in fear and the other is to make the most of each day, each moment and to never stop hoping, loving and praying.

There are numerous verses throughout God’s Word that instruct us to lean on him for strength. That we must do the best we can at what we do and let Him handle the rest. Anxiety and stress only keep God from helping us. He wants us to live the good life and to love and love some more!

It is important to MAKE the time to do the things we enjoy. We will feel better and our families will thank us!