As I was preparing lunch this afternoon, Hit me Like a Bomb by Third Day came on. Lyrics video From the first time I heard this song, which wasn’t too long after Christian passed away, the lyrics became personal.
You hit me like a bomb
And everything I’m used to
Is suddenly gone
Sorry to accuse you
Do you know what you’ve done
When you hit me like a bomb
Hear the sound of the sirens ringing
See the world of a life that’s changing
Well you hit me like a bomb
I was scared and I started running
Can’t say I never saw it coming
When you hit me like a bomb
(La la la la la la la la…)
You hit me like a bomb
Everything’s changing
It didn’t take long
For you to start rearranging
Everything that I’ve known
When you hit me like a bomb
(lyricsmode.com)
I knew Christian wasn’t doing well. His overall health was declining rapidly over the last 6 months of his life, whether I wanted to see it or not. We knew we had to take him to the doctor and probably the hospital, but we didn’t think we were going to lose him that night almost 10 months ago. When I went into his room to wake him up for the day, I was hit by the biggest bomb ever. Our life as we knew it – forever changed.
I lost my son, my best friend, my hero and my life as I knew it. Everything changed, including how I looked at life. Life is still changing, rearranging. Everything I ever knew up to that point no longer mattered.
As time has moved on, we have been healing in our own ways but we will never be the same. Christian made us appreciate the small things, even something as simple as seeing a bird outside of the window or a spot of sunlight on the wall. Because of him, no matter how much the darkness enfolds me, I will NEVER give up. I have moments when I feel angry and I question God about Christian’s pain and suffering. I remind myself of God’s love, provision, mercy and grace so the anger isn’t able to fester and make me bitter. I would rather heal and live the life Christian so much wanted to live but wasn’t able to.
This song by Third Day has a rock sound to it and plenty of energy. Let me know what you think!
The road less traveled 