In my therapy session yesterday, we talked about self-worth. My therapist said that when a baby is born, he or she has self-worth. We are all born with it. When the baby poops, she is not concerned about the smell and the mess. When he is hungry at 3 a.m., he is not concerned about waking up his parents.
As we all know, we go through our childhood and adulthood experiencing things that question and undermine our worth. For some of us, it can be traumatic – abuse, alcoholism in the home or neglect. For others it can be bullying at school or an adult figure who says something hurtful. Most of us are unaware of the strongholds and bondage that starts to form in our hearts and minds as we face situations over and over that undermine our feelings of worthiness.
For myself, there was not any love or validation in the home as I grew up. I do not harbor feelings of resentment towards my parents or grandparents because they were not able to give out what they did not have. They did the best they could with what they had at the time. I love them and am thankful that they made sure I had clothes, plenty to eat and for the things we did together as a family – camping, fishing, watching movies etc.
In school, being dark-skinned and looking a little different than the other kids, I was made fun of into my high school years. Kids made slanted eyes at me and chanted hurtful songs, excluded me, and were mean to me. In high school, my coach made a comment about me being a joke. This only made me work harder and become more successful in the sports I was involved in. I developed a rebellious streak and drank alcohol, violated curfew, and destroyed property, to name a few of the things I did to relieve the anxiety I was feeling.
I carried this into my adulthood and it manifested into a deep sense of insecurity. I cared way too much about what people thought and I became a professional people pleaser. I went to bars and partied to be accepted and I worked entirely too hard at home and at work. My worth became tied to receiving approval from others and in tangible accomplishments.
I recently joined New City Church and as I have surrendered my life to Jesus, doors have been opening left and right. I now enjoy fellowship with other women and am making friends. I am part of a church body full of the most loving, genuine people I have ever met along with leaders who truly care about the congregation! I am humbled to the point of tears for these blessings being poured out.
Even with all of these blessings, in church of all places, the enemy has been lying to me. He has been telling me I don’t belong and there is something wrong with me. He told me that if they knew the things I have done and the thoughts that go through my head they would reject me. The enemy is very patient (I learned from Joyce Meyer) and he starts to plant seeds in us at a very young age. These seeds eventually become chains of bondage, also known as strongholds.
In a conversation with my best friend yesterday, she pointed out to me that my low feelings of worthiness have become a stronghold in my life. When we have these areas of bondage in our lives, it gives the devil access to our soul. It’s only when we break free and learn the truth that we can kick him out and send him packing.
I started studying scriptures on our God-given worth. I read Isaiah 43:4. This scripture went deep into my core and I broke down in tears: “Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for you life.” Something came loose in my soul and my heart opened to God’s love like never before. A song by Cory Asbury called Reckless Love https://youtu.be/Sc6SSHuZvQE?si=3Onwe7b5XnqFeBF5 came to my mind and I was truly humbled.
From Genesis to Revelation, God’s love is written all over His Word. By sending His Son to die on the cross so we can have relationship with Him is the ultimate expression of God’s Love:
John 3:16 NIV
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
When we open our hearts to His love and accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, our life will be transformed. His love heals us, brings joy and miracles into our lives and opens doors we never imagined would open. We see our worth in Him and not in what man says about us. We become who God created us to be and begin living out a love walk that becomes an example to others and gives them hope. Revealing God’s love to others becomes our mission and discipleship. Chains are broken and we become free!
The road less traveled 