I woke up to something I hadn’t seen in what seems like weeks – a sunrise! For the last while, a good portion of Montana has been covered with a blanket of hazardous air from forest fires. The sky was a funny grey color and it smelled like a campfire outside. When the sun shined into the house it was an alien, orange shade. Thankfully cooler weather blew in last night and the air is no longer at a hazardous level. I have found myself pausing throughout the day to watch the white pillows in the sky float by, wondering which one my Christian is on.
I noticed some trees around town were already turning yellow. It is the end of August but it still seems too soon. One of my favorite sounds on days like today is the rustling of leaves as the wind blows and the sound of Eurasian doves cooing in the evening light.
Fall is my favorite season and already I am looking forward to the changing leaves and cooler winds. This will be a difficult season to pass through because October 27th will be the one year anniversary of Christian’s passing. October 12 would have been his 22nd birthday. The good Lord has helped us through the most difficult first year and I know the pain will never fully go away. I will miss Christian and long to see him for the rest of my time on this earth.
On the evening before Christian passed away, he said that he wished his pain would stop so he could just sit still, look at things and really enjoy them. Now, in heaven, he can see things far more beautiful. When I hear the leaves blowing down the sidewalk this fall and see the beautiful, autumn hued, blue sky, I will enjoy it all the more because of Christian’s grace.